Who Knew
by NinjaFoodLover
Summary: Everything you never knew Ed could be, have or do. Other characters for the sake of it.  Chapter 1 Pants


**I was bullied into this. Don't blame me. Don't own FMA by the way.**

_**(=)  
>(=)<strong>_

_**(=)**_

_**Who knew about Ed's pants.**_

_**(=)**_

_**(=)**_

It was undoubtedly Havoc's fault. Besides the fact that _everything _was Havoc's fault, it was his bet from the start. Well more like his punishment from losing the bet. But still if he hadn't taken the bet from the Colonel then they wouldn't know the Truth awful truth about Ed's pants. So maybe they should all blame Roy and Havoc. Yeah that would work.

Havoc started slack jawed at his commanding officer. His cancerstick fell listlessly to the floor as he tried to comprehend his obviously deranged CO's order.

"E-e-excuse me, sir?" he stuttered.

"You heard me Second Lieutenant. You lost the bet so now you have to find out what kind of underwear Fullmetal wears." That effin bastard had the guts to smirk and was obviously enjoying his predicament. Havoc suddenly understood Ed's need and want to punch that face in.

"But sir, this is an extremely dangerous mission. Fullmetal is an unpredictable alchemist and as such I will need an alchemist protection to survive." If the bastard wanted to play like that he could play like that.

"Ah but Havoc, this isn't a mission it's your punishment for losing the bet and as such I am not required to provide you protection."

Damn the bastard had him there. Time to pull out his trump card.

"But sir, when Fullmetal realizes this he will come after and most possibly eradicate me thus keeping you from learning the truth." Hah Take that bastard. Roy out of everyone wanted to know what kind of underwear Ed wore (Or if he wore any at all) the most. "And since your the one with the most battle experience with Fullmetal you should accompany me." Havoc pulled on his most innocent smile. '_Got you bastard'_ he though.

"Hmmm. Fine but only for the sake of information." Havoc twitched but nodded.

The stage was set. Any second now the Fullmetal Alchemist Edward Elric would come strutting through those doors to deliver a report and it was Havoc's job to feel Ed's behind up then hide behind the Colonel. Not that Havoc minded having to feel up Ed for the mission (He would take any reason to lay his hands on that ass), he just wished it wasn't in such a confined space.

And here came the main attraction. Ed waltzed up to the Colonel's door and kicked it open. "Yo Colonel Bastard. Here's the report you wanted." Havoc used all of his ninja abilities to follow the alchemist into the Colonel's room. Right when Ed drew his hand back to throw the report at the Colonel he stuck. Grabbing that firm ass he attempted to feel any underwear lines. It took him a few seconds of feeling to realize that he only felt skin.

He looked sharply at Ed who was only looking down at him with a quirked eyebrow. Tearing his hand away from that firm ass he shouted "Your not wearing any pants...or anything."

Ed smirked. "You just noticed? I've never been wearing pants." Jaws dropped.

"Then what the hell is that stuff on your legs?" Roy yelled.

"Black paint." he replied nonchalantly. "Put it on every morning. What you actually thought I squeezed my automail and firm ass in that kind of stuff every morning? No way."

Now that Havoc looked he could definitely tell Ed wore no pants. His legs had no wrinkles and if he stared hard enough he could see Ed's butt crack. And judging from Roy's blush and nosebleed (and where his eyes were directed) you could see everything in front if you stared hard enough too.

"But really guys if you wanted to know you should have just asked." Ed placed his report down, patted the stunned Havoc on the shoulder and left.

Everything was still. Then Roy muttered "I..I saw everything." He smiled as he fell forward. Havoc just stared into space realizing that he touched Ed's Bare Firm Ass. He promptly passed out as well.

Riza then poked her head into the room. "Colonel, I expect you to pay for everyone's therapy bill."

_**The End...Or is it?**_

_**(=)**_

_**(=)**_

**DONE. Hm that wasn't so hard. Not the best I know but bare with me. I had a lot of variations of this story. Including one where Ed and Roy are Smexxing it up in Roy's office and when Roy tried to take off Ed's pants he realizes Ed is wearing no pants. When questioning Ed about it he simply smirks and says it's easier to enjoy situations like these. Why I didn't write that one I have no clue. **

**About halfway through I challenged my self to see how many times I could write firm ass without it looking weird. I failed somewhere along the way. All in all this was fun. Hope it was up to your expectations LittleMadam. **

**Now go write your own pants fanfiction.**


End file.
